Mentor Spotlight: Midlife Maven Elayne Kalila Doughty ~ Dean of Priestess Presence School of Sacred Arts & Temple ~ Creator of "7 Gateways of Menopause"

“I Am No Longer Available for Dimming

And neither, as it turns out, are you. The Radiant Queen is the instinctual knowing you were domesticated out of, the one menopause is busy handing back to you.”

Thus begins this beautiful and moving revelation, reclaiming yet another area of women’s lives that is truly powerful and radiant, but which has been treated like disease and shamed as nothing but loss and decline.

Elayne Kalila’s new Substack manifesto absolutely took my breath away! And gave it back in a long whooshing sigh . . . releasing outrage and embracing comfort . . . coming home and stepping off on a thrilling adventure.

I now look at midlife as the new prime of life! 

For me, it has brought not only hot flashes and insomnia, but joyful empty nesting; finding my voice and vision, mentor and community as a writer; and evolving from Reiki student to provider to teacher, retreat leader, and now trainer of teachers and director of an expanding organization, partnering with community institutions.

My menopause journey thus far has also carried me through covid, cervical cancer and hysterectomy, and 3 years in remission; my mom’s passing at age ninety-five; nursing my husband through illness and injury; the death of my 35-year-old Quarter Horse after 15 years together. Severe initiations indeed, yet each with its own gifts of healing and wisdom.

This follows many years of homeschooling, library work, farming, community volunteering, and elder care while slowly launching Essential Arts. 

In other words, it’s a massive life transition, just as big as the threshold from childhood to adulthood, or caterpillar to butterfly. 🦋

Let’s get Medieval!

For those of us in the decades of our life’s Middle Ages, I like to think that rather than “middle-aged,” we’re Medieval! It sounds so much more passionate and mysterious, don’t you think? But this time let’s skip the Crusades and give chivalry a modern feminist update. ;)

As anyone who’s ever attempted it will know, this phase of life is not for the faint of heart. It’s an adventure of the highest and deepest magnitude, worthy of a knight in shining armor, and yet alas, it falls to us mere maidens to endure or embrace.

Spiritual companions and mentors

I’m extremely grateful to be traveling this winding road with some incredible companions and spiritual mentors, Elayne Kalila Doughty, Dean of the Priestess Presence School of Sacred Arts and Temple.

I’m delighted that Elayne Kalila has graciously stepped forward to shine her light on the powerful experiences of this passage between the archetypal phases of the Mother and the Crone or Wise Elder.

As a woman fully immersed in this journey myself, I was delighted to learn of her new venture as Midlife Maven, starting with a simple yet profound, even earthshaking quiz she designed to help us center ourselves right where we are in this moment, and navigate the murky and magical path ahead.

The Seven Gateways: Where Are You On Your Menopausal Journey? reflected my need to more fully enter the gate of Body Love. I prioritize self-care yet I can still take my miraculous body for granted. This is a valuable time to learn more about my body as she metamorphosizes once again and deepen in sacred devotion on my healing path. 

You can take this fun and revealing quiz too, and I encourage you to share it with every woman you know who is anywhere near her Medieval years.

It’s never too early to learn

Knowing menopause is a glorious, magnificent transformation into the fullness of our femininity can also be incredibly empowering for younger women, instead of pressuring them to feel like they are at their peak when they’re still cultivating work, career, higher and deeper education, children. They may also be caring for elders, serving community and developing their own spiritual path and support networks.

Many are already on healing journeys themselves, pathologized for being female and not fitting into impossible patriarchal expectations. "Treatments" may cause “side effects” instead of recognizing “symptoms” as body wisdom that knows better than a lab-synthesized formula which doesn’t resonate with the life force in their cells.

In other words, it’s never too early to start thinking and learning about midlife, since that’s where we’re headed when we’re young! Some women experience perimenopause earlier than expected, even in their thirties.

Midlife is our prime

What if midlife is what we’re living for all along? Perhaps it’s not our failure to remain nubile, immature, impulsive, inexperienced, intemperate, easily influenced, insecure, never self-satisfied, always longing to grow up, wishing we're older . . . until we’re wistfully clinging to an idealized past version of ourselves we feel slipping away, or more likely, the window of opportunity to achieve some ideal of beauty, happiness, success that ended up passing us by or that we missed out on due to our own lack of effort or ability.

What if midlife is our prime and we enjoy it for several decades, the entire middle half of our life or more, as long as we want to, really, because who the heck is telling us to be something different when we turn the page on a calendar?

What if midlife is something we aspire to, reach when we feel ready, and enjoy until we feel finished and complete in this phase, ready and eager to go on to the next one, which can feel more like resting in the wisdom and joy of elderhood?

Menopause is not just about getting older and weaker and suffering more. That’s an optional attitude and I’m just not interested.

It’s not that there aren’t physical challenges with this stage of life, but hasn’t that been true for the others as well? Remember puberty? No walk in the park. Pregnancy and birth? Not exactly a piece of cake either. 

So this is nothing new, in the sense that we can finally get used to the fact that our bodies are always changing and that’s not just aging, it’s growth, maturity, healing and learning. That’s what we’re here for!

From Reiki healing to the sacred priestess arts we can learn to help ourselves feel better and support each other. Once we reduce stress and unleash our vitality in these powerful ways, our health can improve, our minds become clearer and we can discover our true purpose in this powerful phase of life. 

Join me on this adventure! 

I am a student of Elayne’s, enrolled in Enter The Mystery training this year with the Priestess Presence Temple, and absolutely loving it! I highly recommend this sisterhood to any woman looking for magical community, education, support and inspiration.

This isn’t pretend magic or escapism - it’s real alchemy that challenges us to embrace deep personal transformation, from a free 6/20 Summer Solstice ceremony to year-long and multi-year priestess trainings. We don’t focus on bashing men or the patriarchy, we devote ourselves to our own growth and healing, and we deeply support one another in discovering our unique gifts.

In the stirring words of Elayne Kalila . . .

You are the Radiant Queen of your own life.

Menopause is not the end of the wild girl. It is the gate she has been waiting at the whole time.

Venus is in Leo from June 13 through July 9, 2026. Take the Seven Gateways quiz to find where you stand and to claim your free seat at Primal Knowing, the opening gathering of Wild Knowing, live on July 8th.

We will do it together, beloveds, in a room full of women who do not need a single word of it explained, where you will not have to translate yourself, or soften yourself, or perform being fine.

The wild knowing is coming back. It was always going to. Come and meet it. I’ll be right here, with the fire lit.

I’ll be there too, and I can’t wait to gather with any of you, my dear sisters, who are ready to trade suffering for adventure, stifling judgment for breathing room, and stress for rejuvenation!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

*My affiliation with Priestess Presence Temple

I am proud to be an affiliate of the Priestess Presence Temple which means that if you enroll in a Temple program using the links I provide, I may receive compensation. 

I want to share this with you because I believe strongly and deeply in cultivating our mutual prosperity in all ways from health and harmony to success and fulfillment, individually and in community. 

In other words, good people should be able to make good money doing good work! 

This helps heal our extractive, exploitative economy, transforming a corrupt system into a healthy, mutually empowering community that responsibly and lovingly stewards our resources, which, ultimately, we all share.

May this sacred work bless your healing and prosperity as well!

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